This past week I attended a summit hosted by the State of New York bringing together a special group of law enforcement, educational and clinical professionals who are working together to interrupt targeted violence and give help to people who are on the pathway to violence. I learned a lot of practical things, but I found myself drawn into understanding the bad guy, just a little.
One of the presentations was conducted by Chin Rodger, the mother of a mass shooter who killed 6 people and injured 14 others in 2014. You can Google the gory details, my focus isn’t on this monster, but on the mother he left behind. Ms. Rodger is a soft-spoken woman who loved her son. She was overcome many times with emotion; for the loss of her son, the acts that he committed, and the aftermath of the pain he had caused. She was not a “professional speaker” in the sense that she read entirely from a pre-written script, remained glued to the podium, and at times her words were not very clear. But she said so much about how powerless she was despite all the attempts to give her son help and how it took just one catalyzing event for him to escalate. Ms. Rodger didn’t offer any answers, just a bunch of questions. I actually had the unique experience of catching her in the elevator the day after her talk. If I hadn’t seen her on the stage the day before, I never would have imagined the pain she has endured.
The second day of the summit included a powerful presentation by Emily Oneschuk, who is a remarkable young woman: a Navy veteran, the first female SEAL candidate, a conscientious objector discharge, and an advocate for mental health. She described her role as the older sister of a brother who descended into the extreme neo-Nazi community. Ms. Oneschuk told stories of returning from college and having physical fights with her brother while pulling down SS flags and swastika insignias, only to wind up apologizing to him for not taking the time to understand him. She described the “slow creep of radicalization” her brother fell into from just being interested in the military and getting drawn into a community of hate. One of her quotes that stuck with me was, “It’s easy to hate someone you don’t know” as she described the white suburban neighborhood her family occupied. Ms. Oneschuk’s story also had a terrible ending as her brother was murdered at age 18 while living with some extremist people far from home. Again, you can Google it.
What I got from each of these women was the lack of power family can have over what happens to the ones they love. Whether they throw everything they can at the problem, but don’t solve it, or find themselves apologizing for going against their beliefs. The goal of targeted violence prevention is to have the family members reach out for help and for the right people to intervene. Those right people having the right approach will hopefully reduce domestic terrorism and targeted violence.
R.L. Carpentier, writer 