A little over a week ago I was a guest on the Famous Interviews podcast with Kansas City based host Joe Dimino. The format of the show is pre-determined set of questions that he asks every guest which helps bring out more specific conversations. I am going off of memory here, so I don’t remember every question I was asked, but I want to delve into the in the moment thinking I had in relation to one question.
The query that got my wheels turning was very simple, “What is the best advice you’ve been given?” I was thrown in the moment as I went through the databank of the 40 plus years of wisdom and move quotes I’ve collected. I forgot to mention that this is recorded in the moment, so there are no second takes, and I felt the pressure to say something. And there it was:
“Early is on time, on time is late, and late is not acceptable,” I said in almost euphoric relief.
But what did that mean? Where did that come from? Well the latter question is easier to answer. It was something my father said when I was growing up, hence the “best advice” part. But the way he used it, the words had more provenance than one generation. Coming from him, he had heard it from someone (possibly my grandparents or his grandparents?) and it had stuck with him. It resonated enough with him to pass it down to my sister and I. Then, as my wife and daughter will tell you, I have continued to pass it along to them.
But then, the first of those questions, what does it mean? Well, as most people who know me, I have an incredible aversion to being late. So, I take the spirit of the “late is not acceptable” very literally. Bu there are two other parts of the statement. Let’s take them apart.
“Early is on time” seems pretty straightforward, but as I sat there, staring into my Zoom call with Joe Dimino, it had a sudden very different meeting. I spoke about being prepared. Being “early” in this context meant that I (or anyone) focused on seeing what was ahead for them and getting ready for whatever was coming. It means having your head up, your ears perked, your heart and mind open. Nothing can get passed you because you anticipate its arrival. Or something like that.
“On time is late” also had a in-the-moment transformation on me. A lot of philosophy and mindfulness talk about living in the present without the anxiety of the future or the depression on the past. But, being “on time” means that there are opportunities that have slipped by you. It also means you’re waiting for something in a specific moment, not preparing for what that moment could be or when it may arrive.
Lastly, I will address the “late is not acceptable” as the final part of the mantra. Arriving late, sometimes characterized as a good to be “fashionably late”, is to me the most selfish thing in the world. It shows to others that you think so much of yourself that you don’t even consider being prepared. You’re winging it or seeing what happens. No plan, no action, only reaction. Unacceptable.
I will close this out now and probably build upon it next week as Joe then asked me about my hero and my answer surprised even me.
R.L. Carpentier, writer 